Saying Thank You: It's Not a Sign of Weakness

This article appeared in the Robesonian on January 11, 2015.

As a child, it was imparted that I had to say thank you. No matter how big or small (expensive or inexpensive) someone’s contribution to my life was, I should always say thank you. The only spanking I can clearly remember receiving as a child was because I did not say thank you when prompted by my mother. She quickly taught me it does not matter if I like the contribution the person made, I still needed to acknowledge the act with a thank you because they tried.

As an adult, I say thank you all the time. I say it to the waiter who brings me a soda. I say it to perfect strangers who hold the door open as I am walking into a building.   I say it to my coworkers each day, because I truly appreciate the effort they make each day at work which enables me to get my job done. I admit, I say it a lot but I mean it every time.

I will never forget having lunch with a friend who informed me, after ordering, I was one of the weakest people he had met. A little hurt and stunned by the statement, I asked why he said that. He informed me every third word out of my mouth was thank you. I said, “So I am weak because I am polite? Am I weak because I want to show gratitude and treat others as I want to be treated?” A little stunned at my line of questioning, he had to agree that it was not the case. I asked, “Have you ever heard me say thank you in a matter-of-fact way, as if I was not genuinely thankful for the person’s contribution?” Once again, he had to admit no.   So I was compelled to ask, “why is saying thank you a weakness?” He stated, I say it for every thing they do, and surely, I should not thank people for doing their job. I smiled, thinking of the lesson I learned as a child, and said, “Truly, I should thank them. They could have brought me the wrong drink, or spilled it, making this a miserable experience but didn’t. Because they have been professional and polite, I want them to know I appreciate them.” Our conversation went on to other topics and when our lunches were brought to us, I noticed he said thank you to our server.

As a child, I was taught basic manners. As an adult, I find myself impressed with the youth I work with who practice etiquette (the use of basic manners) and try to impart that same wisdom with those who have not been so fortunate to learn these skills. Robeson County 4-H will once again hold its Youth Etiquette Class this summer and try to impart that kind words, graciousness, and gratefulness are not a sign of weakness but a code of behavior and sign of respect to our fellow humans. If you are still thinking about your New Year’s resolutions, maybe one should be saying thank you a few more times to those around you. You never know the impact those two words can have.

For more information, please contact Shea Ann DeJarnette, Extension 4-H Agent with North Carolina Cooperative Extension, Robeson County Center, at 671-3276, by E-mail at shea_ann_dejarnette@ncsu.edu, or visit our website at http://robeson.ces.ncsu.edu/. North Carolina State University and North Carolina A&T State University commit themselves to positive action to secure equal opportunity regardless of race, color, creed, national origin, religion, sex, age, veteran status, or disability. In addition, the two Universities welcome all persons without regard to sexual orientation.

Christmas Wishes

This article was published in the Robesonian December 31, 2014.

Ever sit on Santa’s lap and ask for the latest toy? Or maybe you were more philosophical and asked for world peace? One of the great things about this time of year is things that don’t seem possible during the rest of the year are magically possible now. I have a friend who was a helper in Santa’s mailroom and answered letters from the children on behalf of Santa. The letters would pour in asking for toys, technology, and general stuff. Then there would be a letter asking for a coat, a job for a parent, or some other simple necessity we often take for granted. It would make you want to run out and be Santa just to make someone’s life a little better, a little easier.

That’s not just an “adult” reaction, and our 4-H members proved that again this year. At the annual 4-H Youth Achievement Night, more than 160 folks attended and, if they could, brought individual food items for the Backpack Buddies Program. These food items were donated to Communities in Schools and will be used as part of their program to feed school-age children who would otherwise go hungry. You see, children who do not have adequate food at home go to school unable to focus and unable to learn over the grumbling in their stomach. The Backpack Buddies Program ensures that youth who are going without food over the weekend at home have six meals to eat when they leave school on Friday. Imagine the child’s excitement when they pick up their backpack filled with a weekend’s worth of food just for them. It means more than having a better chance of growing up healthy, strong, and smart. For many of these youth, the backpacks are a sign that someone (or a whole lot of someones) cares about them. From the people who donate the food, to those who organize the program, and those who fill the backpacks, it is a team and community effort.

One of the great things about this program for our 4-H members is it allows our youth to give back to other youth right here in our own community. They are setting an example for all to follow. Our members are already taking care of each other and their community. By donating this food they are ensuring a better future for every child who lives here, not just a few. Can you imagine what they will accomplish when they get older?

I guess if Santa asked me what I was wishing for this year, it would be for us to follow the example of our 4-H members and start taking care of each other. Let’s support each other ,for you never know when a small gesture may change the world for someone and our community. Here’s to hoping all your holiday wishes come true.

For more information, please contact Shea Ann DeJarnette, Extension 4-H Agent with North Carolina Cooperative Extension, Robeson County Center, at 910-671-3276, by E-mail at shea_ann_dejarnette@ncsu.edu, or visit our website at http://robeson.ces.ncsu.edu/. North Carolina State University and North Carolina A&T State University commit themselves to positive action to secure equal opportunity regardless of race, color, creed, national origin, religion, sex, age, veteran status, or disability. In addition, the two Universities welcome all persons without regard to sexual orientation.

Crafting Holiday Memories

This article was provided to the Robeson Living Magazine for their Winter Publication.

For many of us, holidays mean food, family, and days away from work. While we may be thinking of kicking back to read a book or taking a nap, our children would rather do anything else and will often let you know. Movies, video games, and the Internet are often the quick solution to keeping their attention. This year, think about doing something with them a little more lasting. The following ideas are some holiday favorites that will make long-lasting family memories for you and your children.

Cooking Decorating –My grandmother baked sugar cookies every year, and my grandfather and I got to ice them. Now I have to admit, she had to make extra frosting every time, because we often “accidentally” frosted our fingers and were forced to lick it from our finger tips, meaning there wasn’t ever quite enough to decorate the cookies with. Although early on, she made the cookies from scratch; later on, she rolled out refrigerator dough and cut it. No matter how they were made, the cookies were fantastic, because they came from Grams and were a tradition we always had. Even if you are not a baker, think about getting some refrigerator cookies that you can pop in the oven together. A little decorator’s sugar, red hots, or even cookie markers can make an incredibly creative and edible treat and memories.

Ornament Making — My craftiness came later in life. During summer camp, I was introduced to all sorts of neat craft skills but never got to practice them. Thanks to some creative folks I work with and the Internet, I have had a chance to enhance my skills and find a little hobby to relax with. A few years ago, I even got my mom to help me with crafting ornaments, and she had a ball. We blew up water balloons and haphazardly wrapped string around them. Leaving lots of holes in the final product, we painted slightly watered down glue on it and sprinkled them with glitter. Letting them dry overnight, we popped the balloons and what was left was a really cool little ornament or ball that could be used as decorations around the house. My mother, to this day, cannot figure out where I got this crafty gene, but she likes to do a little crafting every Christmas with me now.

Games — Remember board games? I realize in comparison to video games, board games may seem lackluster. The great thing about them is you have to talk with the people you are playing with, face to face. A skill that many of our youth do not get to practice these days thanks to technology. Many board games require math, communication, and critical thinking skills. They also require those playing to develop sportsmanship skills. May just be worth pulling out the board games. You never know what you may learn.

Playing Outside — I realize we haven’t seen snow yet. If we do, imagine going out and helping your child build a snow fort, start a snowball fight, or build a snowman. Besides, the old-fashioned snow angels, a dear friend recently introduced me to snow cream, snow painting, and snow sculpting. There is a ton of fun to be had outside when the white stuff falls, so think about getting a little cold and wet; the memories may be worth it.

Where can you find some of these fun ideas? Before your downtime, think about the things you did as a child. What were the memories you have with your family? Repeat some of those. Children often love to hear the stories of how you did things with grandma and grandpa and will share them for years to come. One of my favorite resources for crafts and baking these days is the Internet. There are great ideas from folks with tips on how to make things a little easier. When it comes to games, often on the top shelf of the closet are my favorite board games that come out when the time is right for something a little silly. No matter what you do this holiday season, we hope you and yours have a safe and happy time together.

For more information, please contact Shea Ann DeJarnette, Extension 4-H Agent, at 910-671-3276 or by E-mail at shea_ann_dejarnette@ncsu.edu. North Carolina State University and North Carolina A&T State University commit themselves to positive action to secure equal opportunity regardless of race, color, creed, national origin, religion, sex, age, veteran status, or disability. In addition, the two Universities welcome all persons without regard to sexual orientation.

#iam4H

This article was written for the Robesonian for their October 12, 2014 edition.

So here is the question of the decade.  When did the pound sign become known as a hashtag?  Until recently, the pound sign’s major function in terms of technology was the button on your phone that you pressed to activate or deactivate call forwarding on your phone.  That is before phones went everywhere with us, and now we no longer need call forwarding.  As social media has taken off, so has the term hashtag (which is still called a pound sign unless it is used in front of a series of words to create a grouping).  When Twitter launched on the world, users felt the need to find certain types of tweets easier, so the pound sign was used in front of the words as an organizational tool so searchers could group tweets of a specific topic together.  Since “pound sign” did not sound technologically advanced, the symbol evolved to be known as the hashtag. 
Evolving is what we must do to move forward, stay relevant, and prepare us for the future.  It’s just not people who move forward learning and evolving but organizations as well.  For example, take a look at 4-H.  Your first thoughts go to cows and cooking – rural youth growing up on farms learning technology to help their parents.  If you have read the columns we have written about 4-H, you have heard me preach how 4-H is about more than cows and cooking.  This organization has evolved to keep the interest of more than 200,000 youth in North Carolina (almost 6,000 in Robeson County).  Robeson County 4-H does have an animal science program; arts; citizenship; etiquette; science, technology, engineering, and mathematics (STEM); leadership; and community service program, to name a few.   We know it is important for our youth to be well rounded to be successful now and later in life as adults.  So we plan programming to fit their needs now and in the future. 
October 5-11 is National 4-H Week.  It falls, so fittingly, into the same timeframe as the Robeson Regional Agricultural Fair.  During the fair, you will be able to see many of our 4-H members, who are on the Junior Fair Board, demonstrating their leadership skills, the talents of our youth in the home exhibits building, and their responsibility skills demonstrated in the Tractor Supply Livestock Building.  We are encouraging all 4-H members and volunteers during this week (and even before or after) to get on social media and share their 4-H experiences using the hashtag #iam4H.  What better way to share how this program has evolved and helped them to evolve than sharing it with the world?  We would love for you to join us, share with the world the wonderful things you did if you were in 4-H or things you see our youth doing today.  Evolve with us and be a part of our Revolution of Responsibility by using #iam4H. 
For more information, please contact Shea Ann DeJarnette, Extension 4-H Agent with North Carolina Cooperative Extension, Robeson County Center, at 671-3276, by E-mail atshea_ann_dejarnette@ncsu.edu, or visit our website athttp://robeson.ces.ncsu.edu/.  North Carolina State University and North Carolina A&T State University commit themselves to positive action to secure equal opportunity regardless of race, color, creed, national origin, religion, sex, age, veteran status, or disability.  In addition, the two Universities welcome all persons without regard to sexual orientation.

Our Last Day is About Others

Today marks our final day of 4-H Cloverbud Day camp and we are excited about what we have in store.  Our theme is Community Service day and although we think it's all about a lot of work we are finding out it's about other people.  We started by finding out what our day campers thought about their Cloverbud day camp experience.  Things like fun, making a bunch of friends, and cooking were all said.  To follow through with their thoughts our Cloverbuds took sidewalk chalk in hand and decorated the front walkways with their words, thoughts, and pictures of Cloverbud day camp.  We were so impressed that we turned their words into a word cloud.

  After a brief snack we jumped back in by making thank you cards for all those who helped with our camp.  It was fun as we signed each one and gave each person a personal message all of our own.  When we got done making thank you cards our teen leaders led games, which we really love.

  Again Mrs. Margaret and Ms. Danielle made us a fantastic pizza lunch.  It was one of our very favorites.  After lunch we got to watch the rest of our movie, Chicken Little.  After the movie we were very excited because we were told if we behaved in the morning we could have a special visitor.

  As we came back from washing our hands we sat down on the edge of the carpet and followed our instructions.  We learned that our guest was not human, but puppy and very nice.  As our new friend manny came out we learned all about him and how to greet him.  He was very friendly and let us all pet him, he even gave some of us kisses.  We found out that there are lots of community service projects we could do for animals and lots that they do for us.  It was really neat.

  Before we knew it it was time for Mrs. at to come back.  Today our lesson was a dairy lesson and we got to make our own cow.  After a little dancing we had a story and it was time to blast off to the kitchen to make our snack.  Today we made astronaunt pudding.  We could make chocolate or vanilla.  It was so yummy!

  After eating our snack it was time to head home.  We said goodbye to our friends and gathered all of our things to head out to our next adventure, sure never to forget day camp this year.  It was soooooo much fun!

Cooking Up Something that makes Cents

Have you ever heard the expression, "if you can't stand the heat stay out of the kitchen?"  Well apparently that's not an issue for our Cloverbud Day campers this week.  All of them were very excited about getting into the kitchen and creating something great today.

After our morning routine we broke our campers up into two groups for today's activities.  Half went into the kitchen with Mrs Janice to cook up a tasty treat.  The other half work with Mrs Christy to learn all about money.

  In the kitchen our group got to make granola and chocolate chip oat cookies.  They did all of it from measuring, to stirring, and even cooking when it came down to it.  It was lots to learn but lots of fun.  They couldn't wait to finish up and try the efforts of their hard work.  Word has it that it was nummmmmmmy!

  While one group was cooking up good stuff in the kitchen it was time for the other group to hang out in the auditorium with Mrs. Christy.  There they played detective.  Using maginfying glasses they investigated money, coins and bills.  They learned how much each was worth and what was on each one and what it meant.  They made coin etchings and got a chance to play coin Bingo.

  After snack we switched groups.  Lunch today was a spectacular feast made by Ms. Margaret and Mr. Larry.  We had hamburgers, Hot Dogs, and French Fries.  It was yummy and got us geared up for more afternoon fun.

  After bagging up our homemade goodies to take home and a little more fun and games with Mrs. Christy it was time for Mrs. T.  Today we talked about fruit and veggies.  After we got done playing we headed into the kitchen to make a snack.  Fruit Kabobs were on the menu for today.  We got a plate with different fruits and a marshmallow and had at making our own creations.  Not sure which was more fun, making our kabobs or eating them.  It was a fun filled day and we can't wait to see what our final day of Cloverbud Day camp has to offer.

Cutting Up Today

We have made it to hump day of our 4-H Cloverbud Day Camp and today we get the chance to cut up because it's Arts and Crafts Day.  We started with our own teen helper, Megan Hurst, who transported us to Japan to learn about the ancient art of paper folding also known as origami.  Our young day campers learned how to make a cat, a dog, and even a penguin that they got to take home.
  After e brief snack they got a chance to hammer out their wiggles, literally.  Long Time 4-H volunteer and carpenter, Bobby Rogers, came in with a special woodworking project.  Our youth got the chance to make their own boxes that were lined with a cedar wood bottom and had cedar trim.  The got to hammer the nails in the ends, and bottom to put it all together.  This is a project that they will remember for a lifetime.
  After all that pounding it was time for another spectacular Ms. Margaret and Ms. Danielle prepared lunch that our campers promptly chowed down.  After all grilled cheese sandwiches make everyone happy and we were happy because they were all melty and warm.
  When we got done with lunch we hit the tables again to do a little recycling.  With some old CD's and a bucket of bling, we were able to make our own spectacular sun catchers.  Mrs. Jane used yarn to tie to them so we could hang them up to catch light and make rainbows on the walls at home.
  After all of this work Mrs. T came to see us.  Today she brought us one of her favorite stories and we hula hooped outside before the storms arrived.  When we got in it was time to make a treat.  We learned about whole grains and found out one of our favorite treats, popcorn is a whole grain.  We each got a bag but it didn't quite seem like popcorn without a movie.  So after a little negotiation with Ms. Wendy and Miss Shea Ann we got to watch a movie while we enjoyed our afternoon popcorn snack.  It was so much fun!
  We only have two more days left.  Tomorrow we heard we might be cooking something up....stay tuned for more information.