As a child, it was imparted that I had to say thank you. No matter how big or small (expensive or inexpensive) someone’s contribution to my life was, I should always say thank you. The only spanking I can clearly remember receiving as a child was because I did not say thank you when prompted by my mother. She quickly taught me it does not matter if I like the contribution the person made, I still needed to acknowledge the act with a thank you because they tried.
As an adult, I say thank you all the time. I say it to the waiter who brings me a soda. I say it to perfect strangers who hold the door open as I am walking into a building. I say it to my coworkers each day, because I truly appreciate the effort they make each day at work which enables me to get my job done. I admit, I say it a lot but I mean it every time.
I will never forget having lunch with a friend who informed me, after ordering, I was one of the weakest people he had met. A little hurt and stunned by the statement, I asked why he said that. He informed me every third word out of my mouth was thank you. I said, “So I am weak because I am polite? Am I weak because I want to show gratitude and treat others as I want to be treated?” A little stunned at my line of questioning, he had to agree that it was not the case. I asked, “Have you ever heard me say thank you in a matter-of-fact way, as if I was not genuinely thankful for the person’s contribution?” Once again, he had to admit no. So I was compelled to ask, “why is saying thank you a weakness?” He stated, I say it for every thing they do, and surely, I should not thank people for doing their job. I smiled, thinking of the lesson I learned as a child, and said, “Truly, I should thank them. They could have brought me the wrong drink, or spilled it, making this a miserable experience but didn’t. Because they have been professional and polite, I want them to know I appreciate them.” Our conversation went on to other topics and when our lunches were brought to us, I noticed he said thank you to our server.
As a child, I was taught basic manners. As an adult, I find myself impressed with the youth I work with who practice etiquette (the use of basic manners) and try to impart that same wisdom with those who have not been so fortunate to learn these skills. Robeson County 4-H will once again hold its Youth Etiquette Class this summer and try to impart that kind words, graciousness, and gratefulness are not a sign of weakness but a code of behavior and sign of respect to our fellow humans. If you are still thinking about your New Year’s resolutions, maybe one should be saying thank you a few more times to those around you. You never know the impact those two words can have.
For more information, please contact Shea Ann DeJarnette, Extension 4-H Agent with North Carolina Cooperative Extension, Robeson County Center, at 671-3276, by E-mail at shea_ann_dejarnette@ncsu.edu, or visit our website at http://robeson.ces.ncsu.edu/. North Carolina State University and North Carolina A&T State University commit themselves to positive action to secure equal opportunity regardless of race, color, creed, national origin, religion, sex, age, veteran status, or disability. In addition, the two Universities welcome all persons without regard to sexual orientation.
