With one of our biggest Thanksgiving hosting tips being to set your table the day before your big holiday meal, we thought it’d be wise to send you this article a day early this week. We hope that you and your family and friends are getting ready to enjoy a wonderful holiday together this year and that this guide will help you plan the perfect setting for your Thanksgiving Day meal.
Your House, Your Style, Keep It Consistent
If you’re hosting Thanksgiving this year, the style and formality of the event are entirely up to you. There is no “one right way”. Some folks want a casual vibe for the holiday; others prefer a more formal feel. While it is up to you, consistency is key. You want to avoid confusion. Asking folks to show up for a formal holiday and then delivering very casual entertaining standards would be confusing and awkward, as would telling everyone that it will be very casual and then presenting a very formalized experience. Keeping it consistent is considerate.
Table Setting Basics
Here are some of the most basic table-setting considerations to think about as you plan your holiday. Then, we’ll review table setting diagrams for different levels of formality and how to tackle each.
Your Meal
Your meal determines what you need on your table. Long gone (like really long gone) are the Victorian days when you’d set out every piece of tableware you had. Instead, today, you set what is appropriate for the meal. Only having one course - the main course? You may find yourself only needing an entrée fork and knife, especially if you choose not to set out dessert utensils during the meal. Conversely, if you’re serving multiple courses, you’ll need to think about what is being served and what utensils are needed. This goes for beverages as well. Alcohol-free homes can decide if they’d like to use wine or even champagne glasses for non-alcoholic beverages. Some hosts still like to pair a beverage with each course, even without wine. And for those who do serve alcohol, it’s fine to limit the offering or go full throttle with pairings; do what feels right for you and your guests (and the glassware you have to work with.) When it comes to dessert, you get to decide if your utensils will be set throughout the meal or whether they will arrive at the table with the dessert.
How you serve your meal may also impact what decorations you can fit on your table. A buffet or plated service allows for more decoration at the table. A family-style service (where dishes are on the table and passed between guests) yields less room for decoration, but in many ways, the food serves as decoration.
Decorations
Once you’ve figured out your service and what elements will be at each of your place settings, you can think about the rest of the table. Everything from the tablecloth and napkins to the candles and even the salt and pepper shakers can be decorative elements, and of course, you’ll make a decision about a centerpiece. Here are some elements to consider: Tablecloth, napkins, placemats, runner, candle sticks/votives and their holders, a large floral centerpiece, multiple smaller flower arrangements, confetti, salt and pepper shakers, place card holders, place cards, napkin holders, and figurines.
If you're choosing a large centerpiece, whether it’s simply floral, a mix of florals and fruit (we sometimes had chili peppers in our arrangements - that was always a hit!), or a collected arrangement of items (figurines, gifts, knickknacks) no matter what you choose be sure that guests can see each other. We find it limits conversation and can create a more divided feel at the table if guests can’t see each other easily.
If you’re looking for a fun way for kiddos to help out, having them make or decorate place cards is a great activity. Not only does it allow for both participation and creative expression, but it also helps kids know who is coming to the gathering and can help them prepare for the meal by knowing who they will be sitting next to during it.
Table Setting Tips
Set only what you need for the meal you are serving.
Set your utensils from the outside in toward the plate in the order they will be used.
The napkin is set to the left of the setting. For formal settings, it is not placed under the fork. In other instances, you might choose to set the fork(s) on top of the napkin to save space at a crowded table. Some choose to put the napkin on the plate or charger if either is set in order to save space. Often, this is done when a napkin ring is used, but it isn’t a rule by any means, simply an option. We suggest you avoid putting the napkin in one of the glasses as it can be tippy.
Use FOrKS to help you remember the order of a setting from left to right. (F) Forks, the (O) plate, moving to the (r) right of the plate, are the (K) Knives, followed by the (S) Spoons.
Glasses are set at about a 45-degree angle off the tip of the knives and can be either set in a line that cascades down the right side of the setting or they can be grouped in the upper right corner of the setting. Just remember, whichever way you choose to set your glasses, guests should be able to easily reach for the glass that corresponds to the course they are eating without having to reach over other glasses.
The dessert fork and spoon can be set ahead of time at the top of the place, centered over the space for the plate (or the charger if it’s present.) The spoon is placed on top with its handle pointing to the right, and the fork just below with its handle to the left. Or they may be brought out with the dessert. If you only need one of the two types of dessert utensils, you may leave the other unset.
Table Setting Guides + Examples
Now that you’ve thought about the meal you are serving and the style of gathering you’re hosting this holiday, it’s time to set to the table!
Items are set from left to right in the following order.
CASUAL Option 1: Napkin, entrée fork, [plate - not shown], entrée knife, water glass
CASUAL Option 2: Napkin, entrée fork, [plate - not shown], entrée knife, large spoon, water glass, wine glass
INFORMAL Option 1: Across the top of the setting - bread plate with a butter knife, dessert fork (handle pointing left), water glass, white wine glass, red wine glass, and champagne glass cascading down the right side of the setting. Across the center of the setting - napkin, appetizer fork, entrée fork, [plate - not shown], entrée knife, appetizer knife, and large spoon
INFORMAL Option 2: Across the top of the setting - bread plate with a butter knife, dessert spoon (handle pointing right), water glass, wine glass. Across the center of the setting - napkin, appetizer fork, entrée fork, [plate - not shown], entrée knife, appetizer knife, and small shellfish/oyster fork
FORMAL Option 1: Across the top of the setting - on the left, a bread plate with a butter knife; in the middle, centered above the plate, is a dessert fork (handle pointing left) above the dessert spoon (handle pointing right), water glass, wine glass. Across the center of the setting - napkin, appetizer fork, entrée fork, salad fork [plate - not shown], entrée knife, appetizer knife, large spoon, and small shellfish/oyster fork
FORMAL Option 2: Across the top of the setting - on the left, a bread plate with a butter knife; in the middle, centered above the plate, is a dessert spoon (handle pointing right) above the dessert fork (handle pointing left), water glass, wine glass. Across the center of the setting - napkin, fish fork, entrée fork, [plate - not shown], salad knife, entrée knife, fish knife, large spoon, and small shellfish/oyster fork.
We hope this is helpful and that your Thanksgiving meal is everything you hope it to be. Happy Thanksgiving from all of us here at 4-H and special thanks to the Emily Post Institute for sharing these holiday table tips.
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