This article was written by our own Shea Ann DeJarnette for the Robesonian.
I’m not big on New Year’s resolutions. We all have the best intentions but, to be honest, history has proven to me about two weeks in, I’m done with most of mine. The other day I heard someone talking about their word for the year. At first, I couldn’t figure out the point of a word for the year. A word of the day is usually about learning vocabulary, but a word of the year? The more I dwelled on the concept the more I liked the idea. So, the question for me was, what should it be?
I know this may not come as a shock for many of you, but my word of the year is kindness. I know, since COVID-19 people are preaching about being kind, people are fragile, don’t bully, etc. Honestly though, this has more to do with etiquette than anything else. I have no doubt question marks are now dancing around for many folks as they ask themselves what having your pinkies in the air has to do with kindness Well let’s talk about that, and let me also dispel a couple of old-fashioned rumors for you.
The first rumor we need to dispel is many people think etiquette is about separating economic statuses. That is really the opposite of what it is about. Etiquette is actually being able to make everyone feel comfortable in any social setting with grace and treating people with dignity. Yes, etiquette has some set rules; for example, when it comes to table manners and what fork to use, it’s ok if you don’t know. Just watch the host and follow them. If everyone is doing the same thing, have you really done something “wrong”? Having knowledge of these guidelines/signs allows people to feel more comfortable and isn’t making people feel comfortable a sign of kindness?
In January we are getting ready to kick off our first school etiquette program. We will be working with kindergarten and first-grade students on the magic words. You know – please, thank you, hello, goodbye, excuse me, I’m sorry. So many misunderstandings occur and are elevated to other things because someone couldn’t say excuse me or I’m sorry. Imagine arming our children with the basics of kindness and all of us practicing them. Just by using these words, correctly and not sarcastically, we could create a kinder environment and community. Imagine what that could look like not just for them, but for the adults also. Imagine what spreading a little kindness can do.
The second rumor I need to dispel is the “pinkies up” while drinking tea was never an etiquette thing. There was never a rule about that. On the contrary, pinkies should be tucked in, otherwise you might risk poking out your own eye. Ouch. Let’s be kind to ourselves this year as well and not cause physical harm because of a rumor.
So, as I embark on spreading and demonstrating kindness this year and demonstrating this word of the year, I am curious what your word might be? What word do you want to live in 2025? Please feel free to let us know, and by the way, we will keep you up to date on our program with the youth. Feel free to help us by correctly using those magic words with our youth and encouraging them to do so. After all, it takes a village to raise a child with kindness. Happy New Year everyone!
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