Not Your Grandma's Etiquette Class

   
     Etiquette.  A word the is synonymous with good manners and grace.  A word that strikes fear in children who think it is another form of punishment causing you to drink with your pinky out, nose up, and have more utensils on a table than any one person should ever need to use.  When all Etiquette really is, is the use of polite manners in society.  Something that helps people feel at ease among one another.  Emily Post is the heroine of sharing the rules of polite upper crust society with the world, truly allowing everyone to be on a level playing field and feel comfortable with everyone around them.  Did you know that 100 years ago Emily Post's first Etiquette book was published?  A new version of this classic best selling book was written and released by her great grandchildren Lizzie Post and Daniel Post Senning.  They put a modern day twist on the rules of polite society focusing on consideration, respect, and honesty.  That is what we tried to share with our youth during our Etiquette Day Camp.

    Learning to find and understand the little signs is what we focused on in our day camp.  Our youth arrived dressed in their Sunday best as we learned what etiquette means, the top 10 rude behaviors to avoid, safe conversation topics, and even how to introduce our selves.  We gave them tips of what to remember and our teen volunteer, Maggie Underwood, told them different situations she had been in and how etiquette helped her through them. 

  Then we focused on the scariest thing of all...how to set a place setting.  With a knife, spoon, salad fork, fork, plate, salad plate, glass, coffee mug and napkin we did our best to set a table.  It sounds pretty easy but when you are not used to setting a table this is tough.  So we talked about some tips like when you sit down you move from left to right.  The first thing you do is put your napkin in your lap so it should be left of the forks.  Next is your salad, so you would need your salad fork, then dinner fork and knife, then a spoon for dessert.  We also talked about fork have four tines and four letters just like the word left, and spoon and knife having five letters just like the word right.  Of course if you ever get confused just watch your host and do as they do, you can never go wrong doing that.  

  We did all of this right before heading to Pinehurst and the Carolina Hotel.  While we were there we had a wonderful lunch where we practiced our table manners.  We actually got to sit in a private dining room and had a full table setting.  We learned about taking enough of something for ourselves whether it be bread or salad dressing (dot, dot, not a lot) and passing it to the next person trying to make sure there was enough for them.  We learned about buttering our rolls one bite at a time (breaking off the bite from the roll prior to buttering it),  and where our napkins go if we should get up from our seats.  We talked about trying everything but not yucking someone's yum (so if you don't like it saying, "It's not my favorite" is preferable to "That's nasty.") or not being appreciative of their efforts to cook for you.  According to many of our youth this was the most amazing lunch ever.

     After lunch the Executive Sous Chef gave us a tour of the kitchen.  Learning how all the kitchens at Pinehurst Resort work and how much food is prepared in this kitchen for the resort was mazing to our youth.  Of course their favorite part was the bakery and the big vats that they make soup and sauces in.  Many of our youth love to cook and like to think about having a restaurant.  This definitely gave them an eye opening into all the things that go on behind the scenes and how many people it takes to make things happen.

     On the way home we talked about the party we were going to host for our staff.  As part of that we practiced conversations with adults and things they would rather talk about than what grade they are in or what subjects they would like, and how to pull an adult into that conversation.  We also talked about guests going first, greeting guests, and making sure there is plenty of food, and in the case punch, for everyone.  When the time came members of our Extension staff were hosted by our youth at a mixer and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves very much.  Which after all is the sign of a great event.

     This may all sound like a lot and don't worry, our campers went home with a 4-H etiquette booklet that will help them through these social situations and more.  If you would like to see our photos from the day
please click this link.